Our Home is Not Broken
1. a family in which one parent is absent, usually due to divorce or desertion: (Definition courtesy of Dictionary.com)
So yes, by definition, I have a broken home.
Do I ensure that my son has food on the table, a roof over his head and warm clothing on his back? Yes
Does my son come home to a house full of love, trust, stability and understanding? Yes
So why is my home considered broken, just because I don’t have a husband, boyfriend or significant other? I thought women today were supposed to be strong and independent and we were supposed to be teaching our children to be the same?
Someone needs to edit the dictionary, because my home is far from broken. In fact, I have seen homes where both parents are present and it is far more broken than my home.
My son’s father and I separated when he was only 6 months old and now have a 50/50 custody split.** So my son has never known anything different. He has never known Mommy and Daddy together. He has only ever known that he has a Mommy and Daddy, that both love him, just apart. He knows he has my family and friends that love him all the time, even when we are apart. This is his norm, nothing is broken.
So stigmatizing any child to say that there is something wrong with their life just because they don’t conform to the stereotypical perfect home with a Mommy and a Daddy and siblings is just plain wrong. Does that mean that children that live in a home with 2 Fathers or 2 Mothers is broken too? I think not.
I go out of my way to ensure that my son has all the opportunities that other children from these unbroken homes do. Sure, having only one income makes certain things a bit of a struggle but that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy the good things that life has to offer. There are many great things to enjoy and do in our community that doesn’t require 2 incomes. We have parks and beaches and great events at our museums and galleries.
So perhaps we can’t enjoy a yearly trip to Disney or somewhere sunny and warm in the winter, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have happy lives. We live by the proverbial phrase “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade.” We make the best of what we have and live life happy and not dwelling on what we don’t have.
Our home is not broken.
** Please note that aside from the basic facts that my son's father and I are divorced and we have a 50/50 custody split, no other information regarding my ex-husband and our relationship will be a topic of discussion on this blog.