Motivation Monday – When Motivation is Zero

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I know it’s supposed to be “Motivation Monday”, but truth be told, my motivation lately has been at an all time low.  Less than zero, to be exact.  In my last post, I mentioned life had thrown me a curve ball and I wasn’t going to let it get me down.  Well, I guess I lied.  But, I will at least own up to it.

I recently had found out that the home I was renting was being sold and I would have to find a new place for myself and my son to live.  We had lived in that home since my divorce.  It had taken me in at my darkest of times and was the only home that my son had ever known with me.  It was the one constant in our lives.

It was definitely something that I was not prepared for.  In the first moments, I was filled with fear, stress and overwhelming panic.  I had become so comfortable in our neighborhood.  We had a great friends, a great school, we didn’t want to leave any of it.

By a stroke of sheer luck, I was able to find another home in the same school district and somewhat bigger than the place we currently had. It all seemed great, except for the fact that it wasn’t in my son’s eyes.  He didn’t want to leave, he didn’t want the change.  As a Mother, my heart was breaking but I had to put on the brave face for him.

I knew at this point, my focus needed to be on showing him this was going to be a good thing for us;  a bigger place, walking distance to his school, closer to many of his friends.  At the beginning, he wasn’t convinced.  He didn’t even want to look at the place at the beginning.  I knew I had to change his mind and make this move as quick and painless as possible.

Luckily, from the time of finding out we were moving to the actual time of moving was less than a month.  Sure it mean absolute chaos for me to get everything packed up and ready to go, but less disruption and chaos overall.

Fast forward several weeks, and now I have moved into my new place.  It’s only been a few days and we are still surrounded by boxes and mess but it is ours.  My son is happy and adjusted well.  My heart is happy.  My motivation levels however, zero…..big, fat zero.

During the past few weeks, my focus has been packing, organizing, moving.  Nothing and nothing else.   I have let everything else fall the wayside.   Don’t get me wrong, it has been weighing strongly on my mind, but I have done nothing about it.  And now, when I need to get back to focusing on those things I have been neglecting, I am truly struggling to find the motivation to do anything about it.  I know that I have not been going to the gym and have been eating terribly and I feel it….really feel it.  And that is probably a contributing factor to my lack of motivation.  I feel yucky and just want to lay on the couch and continue to eat terribly.

So what do I do about it?  When the motivation level is less than zero, what can I do to change this?  I know I need to put one foot in front of the other and move forward.  Stop taking steps backwards.  I can write these words but they are just words.  How can I put these words into to actual actions?

I guess it really is just one step at a time.  One foot in front of the other.  I need to stop wallowing and get up and make things happen.  Getting my gym clothes out is the first step, then I need to actually put them on and go to the gym.   I know I have said it before, and I will say it again….I can do this!